Signs Unknown: A Wife's Lens on a Spouse's Unaddressed Mental Health Journey

Continuing our mental health series curated by Promise2Live, Carrie Hill, a board member of Promise2Live and public relations professional, discusses navigating a family's response to unaddressed mental health issues within a family from the perspective of a concerned spouse.

See Brandy Vega's inaugural article of the series—the profile story about Promise2Live. The second article in this series—an introduction to Tom Telford's BrainStoke podcast—can be found here. The third article in the series was written by Richard Godfrey, Co-founder and CEO of Avec Me, and discusses fitting prosthetic limbs for elephants that have been injured by landmines in Cambodia. The fourth article in the series is on how to help those who are struggling, authored by Cameron McBride, CEO of Blomquist Hale Solutions, a Salt Lake City-based company specializing in mental health solutions.

Carrie Hill will participate in a Silicon Slopes/Promise2Live Mental Health Town Hall on Thursday, June 13 at Silicon Slopes HQ in Lehi, with a focus on men, reflecting that June is Men's Mental Health Month.

Silicon Slopes & Promise2Live Mental Health Town Hall

Other panelists include: Dr. Dave Morgan, Licensed Psychologist and Director of Mental Health Awareness for Silicon Slopes; Brandy Vega, Founder of Promise2Live; Joe Tuia'ana, Founder & CEO of the I Love You, Bro PROJECT; Curtis Morley, Author and CEO of Counterfeit Emotions; and Brandon Sunday, Owner at Pando Development.

Thursday, June 13, 2024 at Noon at Silicon Slopes HQ in Lehi, 2600 Executive Parkway, Suite 140, Lehi UT 84043. The panel features individuals with lived experience, family members, and advocates sharing inspiring stories of hope and perseverance, providing attendees with insights into resilience and recovery journeys.

Signs Unknown: A Wife's Lens on a Spouse's Unaddressed Mental Health Journey

Navigating the mental health of a loved one, especially a spouse, can feel like an overwhelming and confusing experience. I often compare it to an event from when I was 18 and living in Europe with my family. Growing up in the military, I spent the latter half of my senior year in Belgium. As an 18-year-old, I had the chance to take the driver's test for an international driver's license. I diligently studied over 100 road signs for the written test and aced it. Feeling confident, I believed the driving component would be just as easy.

The day of the driving test arrived, and I got into the car with my instructor and did well on the cobblestone streets until I reached a—wait for it—a roundabout. For a girl fresh from the straight, simple roads of Sierra Vista, Arizona, European roundabouts were an unfamiliar challenge. Despite acing my written test, I was unprepared for the practical application of the signs I had studied. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed what slightly registered as a "Yield" sign, but I was so distracted that I didn't fully process it. As I entered the roundabout, I narrowly avoided an accident. When the horns and hand gestures stopped, I looked at my Flemish instructor, with tears in my eyes, and he simply said, "Go." Clearly, it was not his first rodeo.

This experience mirrors the challenge I faced in recognizing the signs of a spouse's mental health struggle. You might think you'd recognize the signs of something disruptive with your spouse right away. However, when life gets busy, and spouses lead separate lives for much of the day, it's easy to miss the early warning signs of an emotional crisis. Kids, life, professional goals and responsibilities, finances, physical health and other events can distract us from internalizing the warning signs of an oncoming crisis. These signs can be easy to brush off until you find yourself on the brink of an emotional crash in a mental health roundabout you aren't sure how to navigate, which ultimately leaves you in tears.